I spent the majority of my weekend on the soccer fields.

No, I’m not a soccer player, but my son was asked to pick a sport to focus on, and he selected soccer. (Thank you Universe, so much less expensive and better times to practice than ice hockey ) Therefore, we’ve been on the soccer fields more often than not these past few weeks as he participates in Recreational soccer for the 5th or 6th season (I’ve honestly lost count), and is now also part of a cross over team, getting ready for Travel. That means 3 practices during the week and two games on Saturday. This weekend included a makeup game on Sunday. (I’m willing to play taxi if he’s going to focus and give it his all.)

I have met some wonderful coaches (actually, all the coaches we’ve had have been GREAT) and parents in this endeavor, and yet this past Saturday I was dismayed and appalled at the behavior I not only witnesses on the FIELD with the 7-8 year olds, but also the behavior on the sidelines of some of the parents of said 7-8 year olds.

By U8, the teams are no longer co-ed, and they’re now focusing on learning to play positions, team work and really learning the sport rather than just running around in clumps after the ball. It was cute when they were 3, it’s not so cute when they’re doing it at 7+ and can seriously damage each other.

Our Team

Our team has a wonderful coach this season (we’ll call him Coach K), he’s very focused on teaching them the correct skills and positions and really pushing each and every one of them to test out their strengths and strengthen their weaknesses. He’s not only our U8 Rec Coach, but also our U8 Crossover Coach. Cross over teams play 5 on the field plus a goalie, focused on positions and learning the skills of the game. He takes into account the kids personalities, how they’re feeling that day and tends to keep to a fun loving, let’s play mood on during the Rec Games. During a Rec Game, when the team is too far ahead in goals, he has them work on skills on the field and really wants them allowing the other team the chance to score a few goals too. He even pulls a player off the field and plays one man down if necessary to allow the other team to work on their skills and scoring. And, he’ll cheer and encourage the other team’s players just as much as his own. Cross Over Games are much more intense and focused on playing soccer to win as a team.

What I Saw Happening at the Rec Game

All of our kids are learning. Who do they learn from? Their parents, their teachers….their coaches. I am a martial artist. I teach self control, respect, shake the pain off and get up and keep moving to help your team out (plus you don’t want to get kicked in the head), and a whole host of other things as well. One of the things we teach is focus and control of your kicks, and in soccer, the ball.

Saturday morning, the first hit came as an elbow to the face.

Next were the attempts at leg sweeps, the shoving/pushing, the jump kicking to the groin, and  a whole host of unprofessionalism and down right just trying to be mean. Yes, there is to be some of that to be expected, but when each child came off the field in a fit of pain, while the other team congratulated each other on another new goal and general trash talking (yes, trash talking at their age). I reminded one of our parents that yelling at them about it when it was the parents that needed to be corrected first, then the child. She calmed down some, but she had a valid reason for being ready to correct the child. I took my child aside during a break to explain that if he got hit, pushed, shoved to either roll with it and come back up on his feet or block and evade. As my discussion with one of the other mothers….I should NOT be having to have a self defense discussion with my son on the soccer field. I should be helping him focus on speed, timing and skills. I also should not have to be counseling him on no he can’t swing back 1) because it’s not right and 2) because as a young martial artist, he could do serious damage to the other player too. Our boys recognize they take a knee and stop when there is a player down, NOT high five and generally cheer on your buddies.

Winning isn’t everything.

As each of us stopped to remind our boys, it doesn’t count as winning when you are:

• Purposely going out of your way to hurt other players.
• Not playing by the rules of the game, then what’s the purpose of playing the game?
• Trash talking the other team esp at this young age. “You’re so far behind, you suck.” And that was just one of the comments I overheard.
• Accusing others of faking taking a hit.
• And so on.